I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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