She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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