hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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