my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's shark week go big or go home
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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