it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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