it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
