apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
