Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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