Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
