i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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