dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
