Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
