ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
