My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize