U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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