normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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