i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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