I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
