yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
