I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
