i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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