if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
