I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Randomize
