Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
