i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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