It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I skipped work to stalk him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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