Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
