Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
one two three fourrrrnication!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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