Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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