batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
