She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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