Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
