brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
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