I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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