well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize