So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
