I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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