he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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