hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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