I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The beer is more important than you right now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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