Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
