Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
