Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I looked at my own cervix.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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