Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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