Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
soo... how was my night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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