You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
