Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
