I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my poor anus
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
