The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
