***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
