I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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