The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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