Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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