K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my shit smells like andre
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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