Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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