But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
