I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
