my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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