You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
