I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
