I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
