Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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