: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
