Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize