Will you blow on my dice?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
how does that bad decision feel?
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