my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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