Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize