just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
