you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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