OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
