I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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