tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
